A priest said, “Life in order to be meaningful and beautiful has to learn the language of love.” Indeed, this is very true in my 11 years of service at He Cares.
I have an experience that I could not forget in my early days at He Cares. I was asked to distribute the snack in one Wednesday prayer meeting. Kuya Joe Dean told me to give one piece of bread for each when suddenly this boy– young and thin– asked me to give him two pieces of bread instead. I told him, “I’m sorry, but there’s only one bread for each.” Suddenly, I realized that I was hit on my forehead with the bread, “Ayan! Iyo na yan! (There! That’s yours!)” I literally experienced “being thrown a bread.” Kuya Joe Dean approached the boy to correct him.
As I began working for He Cares longer, I got to know the background of this boy. He lived in the streets at a very young age. I discovered and witnessed how his mother beat him up not only physically but also emotionally by cursing him and saying a lot of negative things and bad words. His childhood was exposed to the ugliness of this world. Every time I saw him, I got intrigued by him. I saw anger and hatred in his eyes. Eventually, Kuya Joe Dean invited him in the household. I had seen him involved in a lot of fights with his fellow households. He was quiet, and he seldom mingled with others. He was also known for his arrogance and short temper. Deep inside, I wanted to reach out to him.
It was only last year when I had the chance to live with the household boys. As I began to see their daily routines, I observed that among the ten boys he was really the one most in need of attention and love. One day, during one of my prayer times I asked the Lord to teach me how to reach out to him. Then suddenly it popped out of my mind that I don’t need to do an extraordinary thing, but just treat him the way I will treat my own child. =) Hmmm… Why not? So I talked to Reggie, one of the household boys. I told him that we’d do an experiment. I explained to him why we had to do it, and so he agreed.
Every day, I started preparing his lunch and wrapped the spoon and fork with the tissue and put it in a nice brown bag with his name on it and. Reggie brought it to his school every day. Our challenge was he always forgot the tupperware or he would not clean it. So I told him to be mindful of his lunch box. I explained to some ate’s in the Center who are jokingly saying, “Mauubos lang lahat lalagyan dito“ that we have to be patient with him until he feels that we are sincere in caring for him by preparing food every day. In this way, he could really say we love him.
True enough, after sometime of doing it one afternoon he approached and asked me, “Ate, ano ba ang pwede kong ibigay sa isang babae (What should I give to a woman?)”
I replied, “Give her something personal. It doesn’t matter how much it is as long it came from you.” =)
For me, it was a big thing already because I know somehow he feels comfortable with me and that he can trust me. The next thing I know, he asked me again what he can use on his face because he is prone to pimples. So I provided him with oatmeal. I told him that he can put oatmeal on his face every night to absorb the oil. The next day, I demonstrated one by one to some boys on how to apply it. That became our bonding times. For sometime, I prepared their oatmeal, and they put it on their faces every night.
Now I could say, this boy who was once angry and bitter with no emotions was now somehow sweet, thoughtful and loving. His name is Ian Maritana. He is still a work in progress, I may say, trying to change his ways and do good.
Because of this experience, I realized three ingredients in winning one’s soul. First is TIME. You need to give time to someone who is deprived of attention. Second is SINCERITY. One has to feel genuine care and help from you before you can penetrate his heart. Third and the most important thing is LOVE. When you learn to love the person, everything can be possible. Only love drives me to take time to care and help him. And only by our love that Ian opened up himself to the possibility that life in spite of its ugly past can also be very beautiful specially if there are people who are willing to embrace him. I have learned to know this language of love because of him.
Thank you, Lord, for using this opportunity to grow in my love for YOU. True enough, love conquers all.
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